Getting In, Getting Out, Getting On and Getting…. Get!

sri lanla

Sri Lanka is such a beautiful place. Have you seen it? You really have to see it. It has trees and beaches. It has sky and sand. It has local food, and local customs, and local dances, and some local people, somewhere, apparently. In Sri Lanka the sun never sets and the moon never rises, which leads to dangerously erratic tidal patterns in the whole region. In Sri Lanka, the party never stops and the smiles never drop. Which means local industry is almost non-existent, but worker satisfaction is at an all time high. In Sri Lanka, everyone is part of one big family! Which means there is a lot of resentment and ill feeling generally amongst the population generally.  In Sri Lanka, there is so much joy that there is all the joy and there is none left for everyone else. Sorry everyone else!


Happy happy happy happy! But how to get there? Walk? Well, it approximately 6,499 miles from London to Sri Lanka. Approximately. Which would take roughly 2,064 hours, about 12 weeks, to walk if you never once rested or stopped for food. Or slept. But you don’t want to do that. Because you are most likely a full human being with all the things that a human being has (stomach, head, foot, a Facebook account) and so need all the things a human needs (food, water, sleep, a Facebook account) you can’t really be expected to walk non stop for 2,064 hours without dying from exhaustion, starvation, thirst and a Facebook account.

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So I would recommend driving to a gosh darn airport and flying all the way to blinking Sri Lanka on one of those gosh darned airports that they have now. So yeah! Yeah? Yeah! And here at Sri Lanka tourism we are here to help: Click here for pictures of Sri Lanka, click here for cheap parking at airports around the country, click here for flights to Sri Lanka, click here for pictures of pit bulls with flowers on their heads. So yeah! We are to stay and here to help!

Sri Lanka ho!


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How Does One ‘Sri Lanka?’

Sri Lanka is a total country. Just like Indonesia, or Peru, or Jamaica or like, Peru. Sri Lanka is officially a country as recognised by the United Nations of Countries. It is also a real place. Now I know what you’re thinking: ‘I’ve never seen Sri Lanka, I’ve never touched Sri Lanka, why should I trust you that Sri Lanka is a real thing? You could just be trying to con me you con man, and I’m no fool, I’m not going to Sri Lanka till I can see Sri Lanka and make sure that it actually exists. Because I make decisions based on a little thing called evidence!  Yeah, ever heard of that you stunted fool? Evidence, yeah and logic you idiot Ha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”‘ Well, may I point to you that you wont be able to see and touch Sri Lank to prove that it exists without going to Sri Lanka to prove that it exists. So my advice to you would be to.. go to Sri Lanka!


Next question “Yeah but aren’t there better countries to go too?” Well, that depends what you mean by ‘better’: how are you judging countries now? There will never be one way for judging countries, you really can’t say ‘this country is better than that country’ other countries will be better and worse in varying ways. You can’t let yourself be frozen into inaction by the fear that any one thing you choose will be potentially worse than something else you could possibly choose. Just choose! Just make a decision and go! And in this case, just go to Sri Lanka! Sri-Lanka-adventure-holidays-travel-tours-vacation-packages-waterfallsThat’s right, did I not mention the waterfalls? Oh, how silly of me! Did I really forget to mention the beautiful waterfalls? Oh how careless. Did I actually completely let it slip my mind that there are many beautiful waterfalls in Sri Lanka? That really is absent mindedly of me, how silly, how mad, how crazy, how unforgivable.

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